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Joke of the Day

"I sometimes pretend to hate Nickelback more than I do so you will like me."

"How do people with Mesothelioma live their lives? Asbestos they can."

"One vampire to the other : "" Let's go and have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner""!"

"How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff"

"What's the best thing about fucking a baby? You get both anal and deep throat at the same time."

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"My sex life lately has been like very fine jewelry 100% handmade"

"Me: what make of dog is that? Her: breed Me [hands on knees]: I am, I'm just out of breath cos I ran over to ask what make of dog that is"

"What's the best fantasy book? A bible"