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Joke of the Day

"A suicide bomber in a pet shop A suicide bomber enters a pet shop and announces... ""everybody has only one minute to get out of here..."" Tortoise: Fuck :-/"

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four they'd be called chicken sedans!"

"The thing I like best about smartphones is how they're a prison you keep in your pocket"

"A man walks into a drug store... And asks the druggist for two boxes of condoms. The druggist asks ""do you need a paper bag with that?"" To which the man replies ""hell no, she's good looking!"""

"McDonalds actually does serve breakfast after 10:30 if u have a gun"

"What mythical creature is the most bloody? A hemogoblin!"

"Read aloud I have a soft spot for damsels in disdress. What dress? Disdress or dat dress *Ba dum tish*"

"Why did the guy wear sweatpants to his prom? Strictly Ballroom."

"Why did a seal go to the bar? .... Because he didn't want to go clubbing."

"What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict? One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back."