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Joke of the Day

"What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing he's bigger than me !"

"What do you call a journalist in Russia? An ambulance."

"I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra."

"You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked."

"If you had a choice between world piece and a million dollars, what color Ferrari would you buy?"

"Did you hear that in September of 2001, America made a 'The Hobbit' based plane? It's first stop was the Two Towers"

"My Neighbour works in Fashion and was gloating they look at attractive people for a living, so I replied so do I. ... I work in a store that sells mirrors."

"Are Nicolas Cage movies terrible because he's in them? Or is Nicolas Cage in movies because they are terrible?"

"What's the most common view of porn? In HD."

"If she wants to be chased, she better steal my pizza or something"