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Joke of the Day

"If Dracula saw Twilight, he'd stake himself."

"How can you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'"

"Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma."

"A rhyme which is neither Hickory nor Dickory Hungary Dungaree Duck That fowl sure loves to fuck just like his feathers his zipper is down Hungary Dungaree Duck"

"Why did Kesha switch ""$"" back to an ""s""? Because she no longer has a dollar to her name."

"I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No fence. Nun taken."

"Him: I love nerd girls Me: Did you know that having red beard hair happens if you only have 1 mutated MC1R gene? Him: no. not like that."

"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""

"where do queers download their illegal software from pirategay"

"Deer nuts and beer nuts What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck fifty and deer nuts are under a buck."