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Joke of the Day

"I was ecstatic to have an out-of-body experience... ...in fact, I was beside myself."

"Sorry I'm shit faced Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen? There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn."

"I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan. I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans."

"Why did the dog wear white sneakers ? Because his boots were at the menders !"

"What is the most common french saying? ""nous abandonnons"""

"Q: What word begins with the letter ""F"" and ends in ""UCK""? A: FIRETRUCK."

"I think we all know that one person who seems to make it a daily goal to incorporate every color of the rainbow in their outfit."

"What is light and red? Pink"

"I couldn't bear it anymore. Lol. - Bear suicide note."

"Ever since i started wearing camo all the time... My girlfriend said she can't see me anymore."