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Joke of the Day

"I told someone my name and they said, ""That's unusual. You don't hear that every day."" Actually, I do."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job still sucks."

"What's is the difference between a Lamborghini and a boner? I don't have a boner right now. -Hugh Hefner, probably"

"Why did the can-crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing."

"This may be a bit messed up. If you eat one thing a lot, people tend to joke that you'll ""become it"". I used to eat vegetables. Guess what I became."

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"

"Ikea meatballs pulled from shelves because they contain horse meat. Man, that's the last time I buy meatballs at a furniture store."

"My friend asked me what my Computing Logic class was about.. ""Mostly boolshit."""

"What do you call a short sleeved British shirt? A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me."

"I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up."