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Joke of the Day

"Which area of Zelda: Ocarina of time uses the most resources? The long long farm."

"Are one-liners accepted? I immediately stopped telling people I was xenophobic when I realized it doesn't mean ""afraid of xenomorphs""."

"Have you guys seen the new Ray Rice's jersey It's a wife beater"

"Rebecca Romaine Lettuce. Is that something? I don't care. It's just one tweet in an entire universe. Who gives a shit."

"We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, ""Good for him."""

"""I just tried to make reservations at the library"" You don't need a res- ""Couldn't get one though"" Don't do this ""They were fully booked"""

"Most irons aren't made from iron, which ironically is both ironic and unironic."

"Are you made from Na, selenium and xenon? Because you are sodium SeXe. Edit: I have yet to zinc of another chemistry joke."

"Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie? Because he was wayyy far out man."

"Hate shaving? Cut some time out of your morning routine by leaping into the ocean and letting the tide drag you to a watery demise instead."