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Joke of the Day

"Hate shaving? Cut some time out of your morning routine by leaping into the ocean and letting the tide drag you to a watery demise instead."

"I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You Crane."

"I told my mom I was going to go work the polls. She replied, ""don't forget to wipe it down before you start your set."""

"The roundest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown? It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway"

"who's there * Knock knock * *who's there* * Dwayne * *Dwayne who?* * Dwayne the tub, I'm dwowning!"

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department."

"What happens when a Spanish person and a French person fuck? They give birth to an Andorran."

"A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly."