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Joke of the Day
"today i won a raffle. received a life supply of marmite, one whole jar."
Next Joke
"I want this Twitter account to outlive me by 100 years. I want my grandchildren to read my Tweets and say, ""Holy fuck. She was so weird."""
"What do you call a shitty band that only plays in the winter? Coldplay."
"Who laughs the last? The one who you have to explain the joke to."
"If God wanted us to save money for retirement he wouldn't have invented online shopping"
"What does a gay horse eat Haaaaayyyy!!"
"Hey, not too bad I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I know mom I love you too Ok, bye -phone convos with mom"
"Every night when you sleep,I sneak into your house, full of desire. I then reduce the amount of marshmallowy treats in your cereal&go home."
"is Quentin Tarantino directing 2016?"
"Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""