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Joke of the Day

"Why did God make pubic hair curly? So we don't poke our eyes out."

"George W. G. Ferris Jr. designed and constructed the first Ferris Wheel. He saw much potential in his new invention, he said, ""This will revolutionise circus attractions!"""

"Q. What is good for your soul but not your soles? A. Linedancing!"

"Just once in my life, I'd like to know the sweet satisfaction of finishing a tube of ChapStick."

"When playing The Telephone Game, I like to whisper to the next person, ""I'm going to kill you,"" and then nod and smile encouragingly."

"If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right."

"What did Nazis do to kids with ADHD/ADD? They sent them to concentration camps."

"""Hey honey"" *drags a cigarette* ""have you ever"" *drinks some scotch* ""slept with a guy"" *sucks a lollipop* ""with three arms?"""

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"

"As the zombies swarm, I ask for one last selfie. By the time they realise their dead flesh won't activate the touch screen, I'm long gone."