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Joke of the Day

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."

"I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens."

"What is the penalty for telling a bad joke? The joke is it's own pun-ishment."

"Honey, I have good news,and bad news Which one do you want to hear first? -Tell me the good news. -You' re gonna become an aunt."

"Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis. Contestant: What is love? *dance party erupts*"

"What did the dill pickle say to jennifer lopez? U WOt M8>?"

"What do you call it when an ex pees on you? EX-STREAM!"

"If a black dude tweets the N-word... Can I RT that? What the fuck is the protocol here?"

"I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it."

"you stole my electron atom 1: you stole my electron. atom 2: sure? atom 1: positive!"