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Joke of the Day

"If you mean sleeping, then yes, I'm pretty freakin' amazing in bed."

"I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance."

"Pancakes are just crepes who let themselves go after college."

"The blonde tip-toed near the medicine cabinet so that she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. This is not a joke, ambien serious!"

"pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, Oh yes it can!"

"A lawyer walks into a bar... He passes."

"Donald Trump is said to have lack of foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent time meeting with foreign leaders around the world. Ms. Sweden, Ms. Argentina..."

"After cribbing about yet another one of my Pranks, I told my girlfriend that she ""Can't take a Joke"" ""I let u put your cock in me don't I"" she replied."

"TIFU by posting a joke online... You had already reddit."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits."