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Joke of the Day
"When life hands you melons... you're dyslexic."
Next Joke
"INTERVIEWER: What did you like most about your last job? ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it."
"I'm quitting modelling, I need more job security so I'm going to become a princess."
"My default emotion is irrational rage."
"""It's terminal-"" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? ""Departure time is in three hours."" THREE? WHAT DO I DO? ""This is an airport."" SO WHAT? I'M DYING!"
"Guys! I finally dusted my bedroom! And guess what? I HAVE A NIGHTSTAND!!!"
"What would Martin Luther King Jr. have been if he was white? Alive"
"How do you make a dog float? Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog."
"Why do Russians like pho so much? ... BECAUSE THEIR SO VIET :3"
"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the earth round... and laughed..."