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Joke of the Day

"I have a bumper sticker that says... ""Honk if you think I'm sexy."" Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself."

"Guy walks into a doctors office.. Guy walks into a doctor's office, wearing nothing but saran wrap. The doctor looked at him and said ""Clearly, I can see your nuts."" (Buddum-bum)"

"Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game Hurt, bloody, but at least my dad came."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carson ! Carson who ? Carconogenic !"

"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"

"There once was a man named Dave Dave dug up a chick from the grave. She looked kinda gritty... Was missing a titty... But think of the money he saved!"

"OMG a Matterbaby just washed up on Santa Monica beach! *""what's a matter baby?""* uh... nothing what is a matter with you?"

"""Study: Child dies in portable pool every 5 days"" SOMEBODY HELP THAT DAMN KID"

"Hey girl... Is your ph above 7? Cuz you're basic as fuck"

"Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river? Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed?"