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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river? Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed?"

"Where do you see yourself in four years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"""Always wear a pretty bra. The worst case is nobody sees it."" ~ Not an old Irish proverb"

"The reason that there are so many tweets about cats is that people with dogs go outside."

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"

"Guys, I ran the numbers, and each 1000 Twitter followers adds about as much actual value and happiness to your life as a taco."

"I thought about going into investment banking Then I lost interest."

"My wife's sister My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off."

"Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for masturbating to obscure court cases? He got off on a technicality."

"Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?"