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Joke of the Day
"I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up."
Next Joke
"Face down, ass up, that's the way babies often sleep. Adorable!"
"Customer: Why don't you have doggie bags? Waiter: That would be cruelty to animals."
"Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable."
"An Irish, blind, gay, paraplegic blonde woman is wheeled into a bar.. ""Ow!"""
"This girl came up to me and asked if I remembered her from the vegetarian club... but I don't think I'd seen herbivore."
"My wife fave birth to our daughter yesterday. She was born with jaundice So there she was - small round and yellow. We called her *melon*-y"
"After Iran and Saudi Arabia cut ties Iranians stopped praying towards Mecca ... all their prayers are going to go to Spam anyway"
"Santorum pulls out after repeatedly coming in number two"
"Turn yoga class into hot yoga by chasing everyone around with a blow torch."