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Joke of the Day

"Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A. Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!"

"Roses are gray, violets are gray, tulips are gray Im a dog."

"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"

"What's Beethoven's favorite favorite Japanese weapon? Ka-ta-na-na!"

"What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections? They have a polar pole poll."

"baby moses: [crying] mum: ""why wont he stop"" dad: ""throw him in the river lol"" mum: ""okay"" this is from a book called the bible"

"A hipster just darted in front of me in traffic. I almost didn't see him because he was so ironic."

"I live in my parent's basement so I had to dig a deeper basement for my kids to live in. In 20 generations we will reach the Earth's core."

"The Golden Globes are like the Oscars produced by a former Soviet republic."

"What do you call a blonde Jew? Goldie Lox (my little sis just came up with this...or so she said)"