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Joke of the Day

"""What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"" ""That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."" ""That's not so big!"" ""Between the eyes?"""

"The England Football team..... visited a Brazilian orphanage this morning. 'It's heartbreak to see their sad little faces with no hope' said Jose, age 6."

"What do nazis use to mass produce toys? A vinyl solution."

"Paul Walker had to take some time off from the Fast and Furious series He was burnt out."

"Did you hear that the sine function left home? He still comes home periodically."

"Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair."

"me: ""i re-wrote pulp fiction"" director: ""wow ok"" [reads script] ""this is literally just pulp fiction"" me: ""i didnt say it was different"""

"Muhammad Ali was apparently bad in bed, says his widow. Then again, he was a fighter, not a lover."

"Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country."

"2 integrals are working out at the gym One asks the other 'What are you doing today?' 2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure?' 2: 'I'm definite'."