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Joke of the Day

"Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country."

"Wrote a short poem. I dug. You dug. She dug. He dug. I know it's not very good but it's pretty deep."

"Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up"

"What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened? ""...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"""

"A man asks his dog, ""Can you speak English?"" The dog replies, ""Por supuesto que puedo hombre no tonta, soy un perro!"""

"I had a really funny joke... but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime"

"It was a sad day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely."

"Sorry I stuck a cheese puff in your baby's mouth when you couldn't find a pacifier."

"I went to a place to buy some weed, turns out they didn't have any but they sold some shoes... I don't know what those things were laced with but I was tripping all over the place."

"Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33. They're trying to keep it out of high schools."