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Joke of the Day
"Particles make up everything! Fucking liars."
Next Joke
"The projected sales figur- *phone buzzes* the proj- *buzzes again* *checks phone* Excuse me for a moment gentelmen I'm being owned online"
"I see said the blind man As he picked up his hammer and saw."
"Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick."
"I yell at my grandma to see if she is still alive It's a win win situation, either she's still alive or my inheritance just came in."
"Ladies, I adore you, but some of you need to cover up your t*ts and read a book"
"How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found the other girls lipstick on his knuckles."
"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."
"What did the Ottoman Sultan do when he got home from campaigning? He got his dick out for his Haram bae's."
"What does a blind person read in church? Holy Braille"