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Joke of the Day

"I was trying to decide on a good Chris Christie joke to tell at the party tonight... ...then I decided I would cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Posting a status update before responding to someone's text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are."

"Welcome to heaven, here is your harp. Welcome to hell, here is your accordion."

"Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets Then it hit me"

"What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits? Snowed-in"

"Sometimes I feel like a doctor stuck studying X-rays to gauge the health impacts of excessive sausage eating. I tend to see the wurst in people."

"Don't be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they'll spend more time manually checking your updates"

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land never waves back."

"Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons? They won't talk no matter how you grill them!"

"Holocaust jokes are bad Anne Frankly I find them disgusting."