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Joke of the Day

"What if you found out that wheat bread is just a bunch of ants squished together that would be pretty spooky"

"[making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"""

"Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."

"[diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you."

"I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said ""Final Notice""... Good that he will not bother me anymore."

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby."

"Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one that had a dream"

"Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? ...because he lost interest."

"Instead of murder/suicide, I'm contemplating the rare suicide/murder, whereby I jump out a high window and land on my girlfriend."

"Whats the best fat guy pickup line? If you think I'm fat, you should see my chubby!"