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Joke of the Day

"I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said ""Final Notice""... Good that he will not bother me anymore."

"Women call me The Gold Medal I always finish first."

"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."

"Vladimir Putin's Anthem Q. What is Russia's current Anthem? A. ""Putin on the Blitz"""

"Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark? Because it's the first Indy movie."

"What do you call a pod of musical whales? An *orca*stra!"

"What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron."

"A kid asks his father what a prostitute is. And his father replies: That's a woman who sells her body to have sex. kid: Oh, I thought it was a bitch."

"I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time"

"Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry? Operator: Just dial 739 Guy: I did but there's no Ring"