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Joke of the Day

"How are Michael Jackson and McDonalds similar? They both put 40 year old meat in between 8 year old buns."

"And now, a poem. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Violet is a shade of purple, so you're a lying whore."

"Two fish in a tank... One says to the other ""how the hell do you drive this thing?!"""

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"How to get out of jury duty: When they read the charges, no matter what they are, yell out ""Oh come on. Even I've done THAT!"""

"What do you call a biscuit on a motorbike? A bikkie."

"Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently that is not allowed if the baby is yours."

"What do porn movies and disney movies have in common? Happy endings."

"I'm a really green person, but only because I hate the oceans."

"A drum set falls out of a tree. Ba-dum-tis"