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Joke of the Day
"How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs."
Next Joke
"I started chewing nicotine gum the other day. I don't smoke, but I gradually want to start. =)"
"Jesus Christ. They stole your tweet. Not your first born son."
"Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy."
"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."
"Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat."
"Just googled ""who is Gossip Girl?"" and swear I heard my mom whisper ""you're one of us now."""
"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Chirstmas and I got a Rolex. I guess they miss-understood when I said ""I wanna watch""."
"If I promise to miss you, will you go away?"
"I hate autocorrect... It turns my writing into a total duckfest."