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Joke of the Day

"Dogs are probably really excited about dog sledding before they find out what it actually is."

"Why did the farmer vivisect his daughter? He wanted to reverse cowgirl."

"I was close to becoming a rap god. But then 1 day my mom licked her thumb to wipe a smudge off my face as a kid & ruined all my street cred."

"""We hug and kiss, but people just don't lick each other."" -yet another lie I just told my toddler"

"How come about the ""About the Author"" never includes anything negative? ""He was born in Indiana where he's widely regarded as a scumbag."""

"I find it quite sexy to see cum dribbling out of a girl's vagina. But not if I've just taken off her knickers."

"How did they invent break dancing? Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car."

"DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts? HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor! DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on"

"It makes sense to buy Automatic Cars, because they cost an arm and a leg."

"Two elephants are in a bath tub One asks the other ""Pass the soap"". The other one replies, ""No soap, Radio!"""