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Joke of the Day
"Dogs are probably really excited about dog sledding before they find out what it actually is."
Next Joke
"Why do riot police get to work early? To beat the crowd"
"I notice you only call when you want something Person calling: ma'am your bill is 90 days past due"
"[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know"
"What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper."
"Why do managers like pizza? It comes out of the box"
"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Candidate: ""Honesty."" Interviewer: ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" Candidate: ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""
"Hear about the cross-eyed teacher? ... she just couldn't control her pupils."
"A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling."
"For Christmas I asked for the best looking person around The next morning I woke up in a box"