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Joke of the Day

"How come about the ""About the Author"" never includes anything negative? ""He was born in Indiana where he's widely regarded as a scumbag."""

"My parents used to tell me this one. Where did the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW] I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Classic. Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands."

"""Be cool, it's the cops"" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen"

"[ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up"

"Why I love duct tape? It can turn ""No, no no!"" into ""mmph, mmmph, mmmph"""

"What is a gay boxer's favorite drink? Fruity punch"

"How do you tell someone that they're not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?"

"What is 12 inches long and hangs infront of a cunt? Trump's tie"