92522

Joke of the Day

"Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person."

"Why did the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry!"

"Sup girl, I hear u like bad boys *I open the wrong side of juice carton* *evil spirit flies out* Oh, so that's why they say don't do that"

"""Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa"" - the soundtrack to every Middle Eastern scene in every Hollywood movie."

"(Job interview) ""How would you describe yourself?"" I'm very vague ""Ok, can you be more specific?"" No"

"Immigration jokes are funny But some just cross the line..."

"A co-worker of mine vocally disapproved with my proposal to ban pyrotechnics in nightclubs... I told her to give her rebuke a rest."

"[Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: ""Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."""

"What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck."

"Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan? Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging."