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Joke of the Day

"At some point shouldn't airlines be embarrassed their airplanes are older than those cars people drive in Cuba?"

"Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"

"How do you know if you're at a gay barbecue? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand."

"What's the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""

"I just invented a new word Plagiarism."

"Mom, is this skirt too short? Yes. Your balls are showing, Robert."

"Bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find all the pages blank I have no words to describe how angry I am."