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Joke of the Day

"imagine treating the ask a swede hotline like a sex hotline... ""so, what are you wearing?"" ""sensible athletic wear, yah!"" ""ughhhhhhhh."""

"First blowjob Guy: I got my first blowjob today. Friend: Was she good? Guy: She sucks."

"I wonder what will be bigger The video games of the future or the average Tumblr user"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. OK Ladies - if you didn't like that - what's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes."

"What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel."

"I am not racist because racism is a crime and crime is for black people"

"Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red."

"*Walks in late to dinner* I see fed people."

"I consider myself to be... a reflexive pronoun."

"Somebody called me a free spirit today and my heart leapt as I turned back to my paperwork."