92166

Joke of the Day

"I heard the best geography joke today... I would tell you but you had to be there."

"Professor: ""Did you just show up drunk to my exam?"" No way ""Hungover then?"" Nope ""There's a lime wedge on your face"""

"The difference What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ? One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea."

"How is American Beer similar to making love in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch? Moo Mitch, get out the hay"

"What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Fitting the wheelchair in the oven."

"Made a meal out of an old recipe book today. Just tasted like paper really ."

"What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline? I'll tell you tomorrow"

"Sometimes I miss my real friends and then I think, screw them, they don't even star my tweets."

"How do you put a condom on a elephant? You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh."