9216

Joke of the Day

"My idea of Hell would be Ben Affleck reading me a sushi menu in his ""Boston guy"" voice."

"What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah ? About 3 inches"

"A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond ""Could this night get any worse?"" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth"

"What if we've got it backwards? Maybe mustaches have a thing for pedophiles."

"WiFi Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."

"A Muslim woman said she likes her mem like she likes her cottage cheese Large kurd"

"No prosecuting Trespassers will be violated"

"Italian Guy with a problem What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment :)"

"A man was on an escalator.. When all of a sudden it went very fast. He arrived at the top, turned around and said.. ""well that escalated quickly""."

"Werner Heisenberg was pulled over for speeding... The cop asked ""Do you know how fast you were going?"" ""Not a clue,"" Heisenberg replied. ""But I know exactly where I am."""