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Joke of the Day
"What if we've got it backwards? Maybe mustaches have a thing for pedophiles."
Next Joke
"Who has two thumbs and wears a mask? Disguise!"
"A kid at the park said a giant hemorrhoid is heading toward Earth. I know he misspoke but in the closing days of 2016 one can't be too sure."
"Fine, don't vote, but then remember to be quiet and don't interrupt when the grownups are talking."
"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."
"So there are these pants that have padding to make ones butt appear larger... ...it's anal-lusion!"
"Politicians are like sperm And often I find myself asking ""How did this one win?"""
"My New Year's resolution is to cut back on my drinking... One fifth a day, max."
"Your mother is so ugly, that if she were the only girl in Texas... ...the Lone Ranger would be lonely for a loooooooooooooooong time"
"Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend's son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father."