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Joke of the Day

"*takes call from mom* *puts mom on speaker* *cleans entire house*"

Next Joke
 
"Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy."
"What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner."
"My penis is only a fraction of an inch... Thirty three thirds."
"political joke Republicans are Red Democrats are Blue and neither one gives a fuck about you"
"Support Group for People Who Talk Too Much It's called On and On Anon."
"Pay attention to your kids... Because one day he will stuff a sugar free gummy bear in your mouth that he rubbed on a cat."
"Inspirational Tweet: The journey of 1,000 miles begins with ""daaaaad I have to peeeeee"""
"A paraplegic went down a runway... She made for a great roll-model."
"Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!"