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Joke of the Day

"*takes call from mom* *puts mom on speaker* *cleans entire house*"

"the year is 2048 twerking has become a sport the seas are now made of starbucks ugg boots are required by law"

"""Hey were you born on a highway?"" Kevin asked. Kevin continued, ""Because that's where accidents happen."""

"I love every bone in your body, especially mine."

"Losing your phone makes dying in a car accident less likely but more appealing."

"Yesterday I saw a squirrel swimming... it was really cool. I have never seen that before."

"Why was Luke Skywalker late? He didn't run, ewok-ed."

"Number one rule as a snake charmer, never fall in love."

"What is the difference between Donald Trump and a thumb tack? Not much really, they're both annoying pricks."

"A nerd found out about the iPhone 6S Plus. He then said, ""6s+ what? Finish the equation!"""