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Joke of the Day

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have. He has three, a Left ear, right ear... and a final front ear."

"What's the hardest part about being a vegan? Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds."

"jail phone hey what do you call a phone in jail? a CELLphone :D"

"there's no way leo dicaprio cares about winning an oscar as much as we care about imagining that SOMETHING torments a rich handsome actor"

"What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!"

"I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks ""I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it."" - Mr. Manager Cordially, Mrs. Team Lead"

"Ghost of Caesar: and what of my legacy? what now bares my name? Buildings? Mountains? Me:uhh remember how you used to love romaine lettuce?"

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"

"I failed my AP Biology test... They asked; ""what is something commonly found in cells?"" Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer"

"Pick-up Line How 'bout you come to Myspace, so I can Twitter you with my Yahoo then Google all over your Facebook?"