91978

Joke of the Day

"I'm on the steak diet. You just have four steaks for breakfast, four for lunch, then a sensible dinner of six steaks."

"What doesn't kill you makes you vengeful."

"How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough? When the (w)hole job's done."

"My dad always warned me about anal. He said ""Son, this is going to hurt."""

"Growing up my girlfriend was called the human calculator... but that's just because 14 year old boys would have her do handstands so they could see her boobies."

"Having sex with a waitress sucks. She only takes the tip."

"GF: I'm moving out if you don't stop pretending you work at a supermarket. ME: Ok. Do you need any help with your packing?"

"A survey asked me if I was dyslexic I checked the option for ""sye."""

"What did the African have for breakfast? E Bol A Cereal"

"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"