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Joke of the Day

"So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence... It was an udder disaster."

"Mark Wahlberg's mom: Marky Mark! It's time for a snacky snacky before you take a nappy nap. Mark Wahlberg: Jesus, mom. I'm 44. What snack?"

"The FBI agents that will eventually search your basement won't be able to sleep for a very long time."

"Tell me Jeeves, are lemons tweeting? -No,sir. -Well, it seems I squeezed the canary in my tea again."

"Hillary should make Bernie the ambassador to Japan. His knowledge of harpooning whales will definitely help bridge the cultural divide."

"What tastes good on pizza but not on pussy? Crust"

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"Classic Insult Boyfriend: Can you be the moon of my life? Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart..! Boyfriend: Great! then Stay 9,955,887.6 kms awy from me..!!"

"Super joke! Leaps over your head in a single bound! Which is impressive, considering it's always in the clouds..."

"What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce? Chicken sees-a salad"