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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Batman: Who's there? Alfred: Not your parents. :D"

"What do you call a snake who works in the government? A civil serpent."

"Why do we.... Cook bacons and bake cookies?"

"Have you heard about the free, legal, new release movie download service? Yeah, all that you need to do is hack into Sony's email server. HAHAHA... topical."

"Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions."

"Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children."

"There is no doubt in my mind, I would trade my ovaries for another liver."

"How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair."

"Me*suspicious the neighbor is a cannibal*:""Do U find this is a tough neighborhood? Neighbor:""Na, u just use a slow cooker. Me:""What? n:""What"

"Forgot we bought a Christmas tree. Woke up at 2 a.m., went to pee, thought it was a guy and almost called the cops on it."