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Joke of the Day

"Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships. A2, Brute?"

"Your mother's cooking"

"Whenever your ex says, ""You'll never find someone like me."" You reply with ""That's the point."""

"Hey, Dyson vacuum guy. You invented a previously existing invention. Relax."

"I like my women like WTC7, going down for no reason, that's a conspiracy joke that 9/11 people won't get, it's an inside joke."

"Duck you AutoCorrect! You Blimb! I'm way more BadApps than you make me out to be! You Ducking piece of shed..BuckFace Toothless Bastilleday!"

"Adblock can't melt Ellen Pao."

"Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope."

"If acne on your back is ""back-ne""... Then what is acne on your knee called?"

"If you're a chick who says ""chivalry is dead"" I hate to be the one to tell you, but its only dead for you because you're ugly."