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Joke of the Day

"Why did the priest dislike geometry? It's sin-ful. [self made joke]"

"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."

"Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder"

"If somebody's presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!"

"Hey vegans. Making a salad is not ""cooking"". Making a salad is ""assembling""."

"I'm sorry did you say your name is ned or bread"

"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."

"Two muffins are in the oven . . . One turns to the other and says ""It's hot in here"" the other looks at him and screams ""Fuck me! A talking muffin!"""

"You've heard of Memes... ..But now there's YouYou's"

"There are two cavemen sitting by a fire... One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, ""You like beetles?"" and his friend says, ""No,*CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."""