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Joke of the Day
"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."
Next Joke
"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."
"Female aliens are invading earth and kidnapping men with large cocks. You're in no danger. I'm just writing you to say goodbye."
"You can't spell Meek Mill.. ..without two consecutive L's."
"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid's vomit."
"[presidents 2km race - finish line] OBAMA (checks stopwatch): just under 10 mins, did I beat the record? CLINTON: no, Bush did 9:11"
"Just cause you have 9 lives doesn't give you the right to show it off and run across a busy street....fucking cats."
"Original Content. That is all."
"Who was the first female commodore? The Commodore Amiga."
"What is a banged-up used car? A car in first-crash condition."