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Joke of the Day

"QUESTION: Do you know what is honeymoon? ANSWER: A short period of doting between dating and debting."

"Why was the mathematician detained at the airport? Because he planned to blow up a plane."

"How I would kidnap pedophiles. Have a white van advertisting free kids."

"How does Michael J Fox take his martinis? Shaken. Not stirred"

"Back in the day, I took $5 to the store and came out with.. 3 bags of chips, a pack of snickers, 2 bottles of coke, a newspaper and a bottle of whisky. And today? CCTVs everywhere!"

"What did the duck say to the chicken who was about to cross the road? quack"

"My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet."

"What would Jesus's favorite gun be? A nail gun"

"The Terminator would have been better if they'd cast Jim Parsons. ""Bazinga"" is so much better than ""I'll be back."""

"Me: Why don't I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross."