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Joke of the Day

"My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven't even seen me in bed yet."

"Are you from Russia? Cause I'm Putin deez nuts on yo face."

"My extremely slow tailor is trying to give me an impromptu fitting but I don't want to do it right now I'm taking steps to prevent the measure"

"DOG BALLS Q: What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement? A: Sparky."

"There should be a subreddit specifically for internet humor that gets lost in translation when you explain it in real life... ...and it should be called r/SlashAreSlash."

"""He bat batly down the bat, but the bat turned bat before he got bat."" Mad Libs with Batman is boring."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An unoriginal joke"

"The neighbor's wife is gonna be so happy when she sees how much yardwork he got done today. -I think, laying out in a bikini in my backyard"

"There's no better feeling than not giving a fuck."

"My ex would always skip a letter when reciting the alphabet... She never said y"