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Joke of the Day

"wait did that Australian guy say ""meteorite"" or ""mate are ya alright?"" *gets hit by a meteorite* ""hey mate are ya alri... no you're dead*"

"Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented... After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode."

"Son asking father. Why are niggers so black daddy? Well son, whip this one while I think about it."

"What does the jewish kid do on the swing? Pisses off the sniper."

"Know what stops the Bern? Preparation H!"

"A tank and a snake are having a heated argument when the snake says ""Shut up! You got penis on your face!"" to which the tank replies ""You got face on your penis!"""

"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? R? You'd think that but it's the C."

"Voting this year will be like going to the dentist... No one wants to do it, but we all know we should for our own good."

"How do you make a candle really happy...? Blow it out, it'll be delighted"