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Joke of the Day

"A tank and a snake are having a heated argument when the snake says ""Shut up! You got penis on your face!"" to which the tank replies ""You got face on your penis!"""

"A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a lab... ...and do science, because science doesn't discriminate."

"My friend who worked at a movie theater died yesterday. Funeral services are being held at 3:20, 5:15, 7:50 and 9:10."

"How did King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"People say ""life's a journey, not a destination,"" because the destination is death. The journey sucks too. Anyway, to the bride and groom!"

"While in Prague I drove by the maximum security prison. It made me feel uneasy... I never like passing bad Czechs."

"After the election, everyone wonders why people voted for Trump. The French know the answer 'Ils se sont trumpe' (I was wrong = je me suis trompe)"

"What's the difference between an intern and bird shit? No one intentionally steps on bird shit."

"What do you call a lesbian who drives a Chevy Astro full of penises? A Dick Van Dyke"

"How many Scottish highlanders does it take to change a light bulb? There can be only one."