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Joke of the Day
"*drinking my first beer with my dad* ""I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"""
Next Joke
"When I fix someone's computer and they say ""Wow how'd you do that?"" I tell them I'm a wizard then throw glitter in their face."
"A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve food here."""
"How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."
"Why are blind people bad computer programmers? Because they can't C."
"Blind guy: I love this half-sandwich restaurant. Me: What do you mean? This place only serves whole- Service dog: *puts a paw on my lips*"
"A mother walked in to find her son playing with his privates. ""Oh dear..."" ""...those toy soldiers were supposed to be a surprise!"""
"(fully aware that i am always more tired after a nap than i was before) this time will be different"
"Its real cute how pedestrians confuse ""right of way"" with immortality."
"I Tweet and drive because the tragedy of me forgetting a Tweet is far greater than me being injuried"