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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a stolen tamole? A hot tamole"

"Harry: Want to see a magic trick? Voldemort: Let's see what you got Potter. Harry: Got your nose! Voldemort: You know I hate that game."

"Is it possible for God to be a Cheeto Puffed? Because these taste pretty fucking great. EDIT: I'm getting downvoted but figure this is the reddit algorithm! cheeky cunts"

"Anyone else able to tie rope using telekinesis? Thought knot."

"I often misuse common phrases People are always pulling me off for it."

"When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights."

"MY NECK. MY BACK. MY PJ'S AND MY SNACK."

"I was going to tell a joke about a popular rock band, but.. I'm going to need A Day To Remember."

"78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up."

"Who would you ask for advice about a lion? a lion or a gerbil? The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions."