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Joke of the Day

"Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."

"Have you guys heard about the Indian coat check? His name was Mahatma Coat."

"My girlfriend's keyboard broke, and she sent me this message. ""HelpmyspacebarisbrokenandIwouldlikeanalternative"" What the hell is a ternative?"

"What do you call conjoined twins with the same name? Sharron."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman? None"

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ? A computer with a lot of bites !"

"nurse: are you allergic to any medicine? me: laughter nurse: hahaha. OH MY GOD- me [face swelling up]: i thold thou."

"What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ? Frost bite !"

"My son on the morning of his prom: ""Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."""