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Joke of the Day

"So a priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender looks up, hesitates, and says, ""What is this, some kind of fucking joke?!"""

"What's the difference between frat guys and dogs? A dog has a better understanding of no."

"What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night? Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog."

"A rather bold robber... Broke into the local police department and stole all of their toilets. Cops report that they have nothing to go on."

"I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said ""dust"" And that's how the fight started."

"""nice dog or cat or baby or whatever"" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. ""was it expensive?"""

"what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? half of an adolf hitler"

"The best way to run into that hot person you've been dying to talk to is to leave the house looking the worst you possibly can."

"What did the two stoners do with their son when they divorced? They put him under joint custody."

"A man and a boy walk into the woods together at night Boy: ""It's dark and scary in here"" Man: ""How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone"""