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Joke of the Day
"Why does a dinosaur climb a tree? To get in his nest."
Next Joke
"""It's not you, it's me. And me. And me! And me. And me."" - schizophrenic break up"
"Well well well... looks like someone put on some weight again. ~ my pants right now"
"It's ironic that most people don't understand irony"
"Mom used to say the only accessory a fashionable girl needs is a virtuous reputation. But it's bracelets."
"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? In a Porsche, the pricks are in the inside"
"""to my son, i leave my bathroom scale"" the lawyer sighs ""because where theres a will, theres a weigh. to my wife, i leave my last high five"""
"Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing."
"In Soviet Russia... You are in charge of Charles. (h/t Wife)"
"Hear about the lazy baker who wanted a pay increase? He rarely kneeded the dough."